It's time to start folding in the sea serpent reports. We'll roll into the topic with tongue planted firmly in cheek, but rest assured, it will get serious quickly.
Published in the New York Times, April 5th, 1885. Originally published in the San Francisco Chronicle, March 28th, 1885
A COUPLE OF FISH STORIES
SAN FRANCISCO BAY FURNISHES A SEA SERPENT AND A MONSTER
The existence of the great sea serpent is no longer in doubt. It has been seen in the waters of San Francisco Bay. According to the statement of J.P. Allen, of the Bank of California, he and several other residents of Alameda were standing on the dock of the ferryboat Garden City yesterday morning, at about 8:30 o'clock, about midway between Alameda and Goat Island, when a huge black monster suddenly raised its head and neck from the water to a height of about 10 feet, opened its jaws, displaying a mouth two feet wide filled with rows of sharply pointed teeth, and after taking a curious glance at the passing steamer plunged again into the water, at the same time elevating a sixty-foot wall of water for some time, after which it made off in the direction of the Alameda baths, near which some fishing boats were anchored. Some incredulous persons whom the story was told say that the ferryboat struck a floating spar, forcing one end downward in the water and elevating the other as the steamer passed over the submerged end, and that after the steamer had passed the elevated end end fell back in the water with a splash. We may expect soon to hear of the destruction of the Alameda fishing fleet, or more probably the establishment of a hotel for Summer boarders in the vicinity of the Alameda wharf.
Besides the sea serpent, which gave a powerful impetus to the romancing powers of several reputable gentlemen crossing on the ferryboat, the bay yielded a sea monster of such strange appearance that the oldest tar on the seawall has not yet given it a name. The monster was first seen by Carl Sevening and John Peat, who were rowing near the North Heads at about 9 o'clock yesterday morning. The animal exposed a fiercely mustached head of a shape between that of a seal and a sea lion, surveyed the scene, took a dislike to the rowboat, and charged upon it. Just before reaching the boat the monster dived and came up under the boat, lifting it and the occupants, but not capsizing it. The enemy made a second appearance on the opposite side of the boat, four feet off, and was met with active battle. Peat deal a blow on the monster's head with an oar, knocking it out for a moment, and Sevening followed with another blow which knocked the beast silly. The pair then secured the animal with the boat's painted and began towing it, when the enemy came to time for a second round. This it began by towing the boat rapidly for a quarter of a mile. It then came to the surface for breath, when Sevening landed it a blow, gaining first blood, and ending the fight with a square knock-out. The enemy turned belly up and was towed to the foot of Larkin Street, where it took six men to land it. The animal measured 6 feet in length and weighed about 300 pounds. It had green eyes and a long, white bristling mustache. It had two flippers of great strength, which measured 1 1/2 feet in length. The capture will be kept at the foot of Larkin Street until noon to-day.
Publicly, Mysterious SF says: most reports of so-called paranormal events and mysterious creatures resemble report #1, without the explanation about the floating spar.
Privately, Mysterious SF says: report #2 is a present-day violation of the Marine Mammal Protection Act.
